Mere Christianity | Part5 | Good Sex - Highlights
“Some muddle-headed Christians have talked as if …sex, or the body, or pleasure, were bad in themselves. But they are wrong. Christianity is almost the only one of the great religions which thoroughly approves of the body - which believes that matter is good, that God Himself once took on a human body, that some kind of body is going to be given to us even in Heaven and is going to be an essential part of our happiness, our beauty, and our energy. Christianity has glorified marriage more than any other religion…If anyone says that sex, in itself, is bad, Christianity contradicts him at once.” (Lewis)
Good sex is more than just biology.
“The inventor of the human machine was telling us that its two halves, the male and the female, were made to be combined together in pairs, not simply on the sexual level, but totally combined. The monstrosity of intercourse out-side marriage is that those who indulge in it are trying to isolate one kind of union (the sexual) from all the other kinds of union which were intended to go along with it.” (Lewis)
“To be naked with another person is a sort of picture or symbolic demonstration of the perfect honesty, perfect trust, perfect giving and commitment and if the heart is not naked along with the body, then the whole action becomes a lie and a mockery…a tragic contradiction: the giving of the body but the withholding of the self.…It is, in effect, the very last step in human relations and therefore never one to be taken lightly. It is not a step that establishes deep intimacy, but one that presupposes it…It requires the security of the most perfect commitment into which two people can enter, which is no other than the loving contract of marriage.” (Mike Mason, The Mystery of Marriage)
We are hard-wired for intimacy but our short-cuts to it are dead-ends! Teaching about chastity, is not intended to be bad news…the value of chastity is not intended to minimize our sex life. On the contrary, it creates the setting in which our enjoyment of sex can be maximized. Unfortunately, we live in a culture that has done everything it can to reinforce a truncated understanding of sex.
Living inside the boundaries:
1. Appeal to God for help in this struggle. “We may, indeed, be sure that perfect chastity - like perfect charity - will not be attained by any merely human efforts. You must ask for God’s help…But before we can be cured we must want to be cured.” (Lewis)
2. Tell yourself the truth. “The seeds of danger are concealed…but…Eros unreservedly honored becomes a demon.” (Lewis, The Four Loves)
3. Try getting to the root of the problem. Illicit sexual thoughts and behavior are usually a symptom of deeper issues.“For every thousand hacking at the branches of evil, only one is cutting at the roots.” (Henry David Thoreau) Page of 2 2
4. Seek the help of others.
5. Work to improve your own relationship with God. To get rid of an old passion we must replace it with a new one. “I will, then, always love sin and the world until I truly sense that Christ is better.” (Thomas Chalmers, The Expulsive Power of a New Affection - sermon)
6. Distance yourself from toxic influences.
7. Never give up.
God gave us a fire ring. Most of us who are married wear it on the third finger of our left hand. The flame of our sexual passions can be safely and most satisfactorily
enjoyed within the protected boundaries of marriage - inside the fire ring.