Heart of a Friend
The Heart of a Friend podcast was born out of a desire to share some of the most important things learned from a lifetime of experience. It is hosted by Andy Wiegand. Andy retired in 2017 after 40 years of pastoral ministry. He and his wife now reside in Columbus, Ohio. They have raised six children and are now very happy to be grandparents.
Andy grew up in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and received his education at Harvard University (B.A. ’73) and Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary (M.Div. ’78). In his retirement Andy devotes time to charitable work, visits with friends and family, exercises and continues to do a lot of reading and thinking about life.
Heart of a Friend
Ep. 41 | Ears : The Soft Power of Listening | Part 4 | Seven Habits of Highly Effective Listeners (4-7)
Ears: The Soft Power of Listening - Part 4 (Episode 41) Seven Habits of Highly Effective Listeners (Continued) HIghlights
Listening well means to pay careful attention to what’s being said in a way that encourages people to continue to share even more of their story
The fourth habit of highly effective listeners: Don’t use your own stories to compete with others.
Don’t equate your experience with theirs. If they're talking about having lost a family member, don't start talking about the time you lost a family member. If they're talking about the trouble they're having at work, don’t tell them about how much you hate your job. It’s not the same. It is never the same. All experiences are individual. And, more importantly, it is not about you. You don't need to take that moment to prove how amazing you are or how much you've suffered. (Celeste Headley - TED talk)
The fifth habit of highly effective listeners: Maintain good eye contact.
The sixth habit of highly effective listeners: Pay attention to your own non- verbal messages.
Almost all studies agree that 70-90% of all communication is non-verbal! We say more with our eyes, our facial expressions, our hands and our posture than we ever say with our words.
The seventh habit of highly effective listeners: Value periods of silence.
To be a good listener is to accept pauses and silences because filling them too soon prevents the speaker from communicating what they are perhaps struggling to say. It quashes elaboration and prevents real issues from coming to the surface. Just wait. Give the other person a chance to pick up where they left off. (Kate Murphy, You’re Not Listening)
To how many of these can you say, “Yes?” Let’s review:
- I keep the focus of the conversation on the other person.
- I stay mentally engaged.
- I am cautious about giving advice.
- I don’t use my own story to compete with others.
- I maintain good eye contact.
- I pay attention to my own non-verbal messages.
- I value periods of silence.